After completing a psychology degree, the author realised that he was profoundly misanthropic, and set about travelling the world looking for aliens to take him to another planet.
Unable to speak any foreign languages and almost incapable of holding a conversation in his own, he decided to teach English as a foreign language because this was the only job that would allow him to travel widely without any marketable skills or noticeable intelligence.
He has unsuccessfully searched for life from outer space in classrooms in the following countries: Spain, China, Russia, Thailand, Hong Kong, the UAE, France and the Lebanon. He feels certain that a language classroom is the first place an alien would go to, English being the dominant international language on this planet, but almost certainly unheard of on other planets. In the future, he hopes to continue his search for alien life forms in different countries, and he would be most obliged if any aliens reading this novel could tell him where to go next.
He has ‘published’ two novels (The Inaction Man and Zoo), two travelogues on India and China, and a book of short stories (Alien Short Stories, or A.S.S.). All of these books have been written or largely rewritten over a five month period in 2008; a prolific period in the author’s life. It has been rumored that he has signed a deal with Alien Press Enterprises (APE) to deliver six books on the ‘human experience’ in return for a one-way ticket off Planet Earth; a world with no use for his inimitable skills.
His two best books, The Screen and Letters from the Ministry are not available on this site, but sample free chapters can be downloaded, even if the entire texts must be purchased.
More information on this strange but relatively harmless creature can be found on his website.
